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How to Kill a Lion..

Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method:
Hire a Cat;
give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

Infy method:
hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
he will die eventually of frustration...

IBM's metbod:
hire a lion,
give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:
hire the lion,
make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score > 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion,
send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories,
tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
hire a lion .. tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....

Silverline Method:
hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont pay him...
he dies of hunger...

Quinnox method:
hire the lion. either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery.
Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity...

Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....

Nucsoft method:
hire a lion,give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)..
the lion dies from lack of eating meat...

Satyam method:
hire a lion,
give him net access.. no work.. and deport him to Chennai centre...
no water.. no electricity.. no hindi speaking ppl... lion dies in oblivion......

Wipro method:
hire a lion...
give him lots of work...
transfer him to Wipro Lights division..
lion dies due to Lightness...

Mastek method:
hire a lion...
ask him to align himself with anything and everything...
ask him to fill complicated competency forms...
differ increments and pay him salary of a cat...
lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation...

and finally - the billion $ question - How do they kill lions at Lionbridge?





what lions???
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